Kyle Ambrose: A night at the Pixie Mix

A night at the Pixie Mix

Kyle Ambrose looked around the bar and smiled. No place finer then a good tavern. And this place wasn’t your average watering hole. This was the Pixie Mix with some of the best brew in all the River Kingdoms. It’s a perfect place to bring the spiritual minded the true words of Cayden. “Drink, Be Merry, and Live The Adventure.” That’s what it’s all about anyways.

You only really got one shot at making a name for yourself and this place is amazing. This town of Uringen even has a disappearing town in the middle of a town. You honestly can’t get much more interesting than that. But I digress I need to see how my new friends are doing.

Walking into the kitchen two men are scrubbing the floor as hard as they can with some of the smallest brushes you have ever seen.

“Hey Gregor have I ever told you any of my amazing stories?” A 6’4 half Ork covered in animal firs looks up from the floor and shakes his head.
“No Kyle I don’t think so”.
“Great!!! I got a good one for you then.”

Kyle hopped up on the counter and began to recite. “My Mother used to talk a lot about my father. I got a million stories about him from her.My Favorite was the time he lost his best horse and half his clothing from an angry Red dragon! But from what My mom says he was drunk a lot while he was adventuring and she says that sometimes you have to look at a human adventure story a bit harder to figure out if it’s true or not. I guess being a beautiful bard did not hurt when it came to gathering all the facts. Turns out my dad was stalking a dragon with some pretty inept adventurers. A tiny one but I’m sure he would say it was one of those Dragons of Legend you hear about all the time. Well they all got a great big fire going was roasting a pig and got a bit drunk.

Well everyone forgot about watch and a loan Kobold wandered into camp and started to steal everything in sight. My dad woke up not able to stand and started to scream TO ARMS TO ARMS!!!! Well his friend Billy was a bit to close to the fire pit and scattered hot embers all over the place Well that Trixie little Kobold stole my dad’s horse and road it as hard and as fast as he could. to make his escape. Turns out the daft little thing forgot about the terrain and road off a cliff with all their supplies. Drunken and on fire the men managed to jump in a creek not far away and put themselves out. You know you Got to love proper planning when dragon hunting I suppose. Hmm my story does make an interesting observation. Makes me believe there is a reason you don’t hear too much in the way of Kobold Cavaliers and Horseman.”

Belly laughing from the floor the giant half-ork and a much shorter human started to laugh.

“Hey Gregor look you missed a spot!” “Oh!!!! I’m so sorry Kyle I didn’t mean too. Please forgive me. This floor is so dirty and this brush you gave me is only so big and I think one of my eyes is swollen shut so it’s a bit hard to see. But I will happily do it all over again if it doesn’t make you happy. I mean we are great friends and all aren’t we?”
Gregor instantly had a very sad expression on his face. “Ahh my good sir of course we are friends! And through the power of my god you have seen just how great friends we actually are.

And you know I love it when you come to town but I have to admit you did start that fight with poor Madren over there.” Kyle looks over at another man hunched over scrubbing the floor with a tiny brush

“You doing ok over there Madren?” “Madren looks up with a lopsided grin with a few teeth missing. Yes my friend. This here is the least I can do for you. Ahh and I appreciate your efforts and I know that Nikka appreciates it as well. Oh and By the way Nikka asked if you wouldn’t swat her on her tiny butt anymore. She is a Gnome after all and if you swat her to hard you might just toss her over the bar by accident and I would so very much hate to see that.”

“Ohh… That would be a tragedy. Thanks for pointing that out Kyle. I sure wouldn’t want that to get in the way of our friendship.” “Oh Madren think nothing of it. Just keep cleaning for a while and everything will be grand! I do know that in about an hour or so Keenan wanted to talk with you about some damages to that chair you hit Gregor with but you great guys can sort all that out later right?” “Of course we can Kyle. I would do anything for you.” “I appreciate that Madren.

Now where was I… Oh Yes! Gregor!”

“Yes Kyle?” “I know that you are in the forest a lot and you don’t get to town much but every time you come we seem to find ourselves in these situations. You know it saddens me when I have to use extreme measures to get you to calm down for the enjoyment of others. I mean last time you chopped enough fire wood for us to last at least a month. That was so nice of you by the way. If you keep this up though I am going to start running out of chores!”

“Kyle you have always been so nice to me even though I don’t really belong anywhere. Humans don’t trust me and they hurt my feelings. Madred called me something pretty horrible in Orkish and suddenly I was holding him in the air and I was just punching away until all his friends tackled me and they hit me with that chair.” “Well Gregor we all have a place in this world by Cayden. I mean I live in two worlds as well. Not an elf and not a human but we all have to get by some how you know. Lots of people have hurt my feelings but I’m a pretty forgiving soul after all so I don’t worry about it overly much.”

“Oh Gregor! One last thing before I let you get back to cleaning the kitchen. I have told you that fighting in the Pixie Mix really upsets Keenan and Zarzukel. I mean those guys put a lot of time into this place and they can’t have you busting it up every time you come in from the forest trapping all those poor animals in those cruel traps you use to get their hides.” “I understand you have to make a living but you have to be nicer to folks in a Holy Place like this. It took a lot of persuading to let you use that brush and not ask you to clean the floor with your tounge. My great friend Zarzukel thought that would be an appropriate punishment after you broke that barrel of some of his finest ale. I would stay away from him for a while ok!” “Sure Kyle anything for you!”

Wandering out in the main part of the Tavern Keenan Dathar, Zarzukel Thistlewhiskey and his sister Nika were stareing with grim expressions on their faces.

“HIS TOUNGE!!! I said I wanted him to clean the floor with his tongue!!!!” Shouted the small gnome in the most boisterous expression I had seen to date.
“Zarzukel relax those two will be scrubbing for the next hour or so and then will have a moment of clarity and very clean hands. And by that time the town Sherriff will arrive to explain exactly what will happen to them both the next time something like this happens. So calm yourself my friend.” Kyle said with a great big smile…

“They have both already compensated the bar with enough coin to replace what was broken and then some. Plus thanks to my God they are happily doing the entire close down chores for the night. I know you wanted to simply beat them senseless Keenan but I think this has the desired effect. People in town will talk about these two for a long while and it keeps the trouble down. No tough guy wants to be brawling one moment and then cleaning the kitchen the next am I right?”
Keenan looked at the ceiling and began to shake his head. “ Lad I do believe you have the spirit of your god in you for coming up with this kind of penalty for bar fighting of all things.”

“Well what can I say? Cayden has blessed me with his benevolent power. And if someone is going to desecrate a sacred barrel of ale I will not stand idly by while they threaten the others.” “Now, if you will excuse me I am off to bed and I will see you all in the morning.” I can only imagine the new set of riff raff that will come in on the marrow. “Good night my friends and sleep well.”

“Ohh and Nika… I know he swatted you on the rump earlier but you didn’t need to hit him in the teeth with that mug while he was unconscious. That was a little mean!”. Nika giving a sly wink just turned around and walked away. Well that’s one gnome I am never going to cross!